i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
