butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
