I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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