He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
