i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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