hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think I won the penis lottery.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Randomize
