Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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