I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
