Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Someone signed my nipple.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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