what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
