OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
