Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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