put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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