he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
