Umm I'm too high to move.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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