dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
