This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize