toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
