His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
