i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
