I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
