Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize