If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
