I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
