my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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