he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
