He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Randomize
