I think I died a long time ago.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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