i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
