What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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