So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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