I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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