I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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