he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
