STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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