they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
