Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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