Sponge bath it is.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
