If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize