Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
