hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
