sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
