So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
