So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
