My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
