Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
