They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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