belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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