You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize