idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize