Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
