If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
found the other keg... it's in the tree
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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