I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
