So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
