I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize