Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
