So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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