I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
