i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
