i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
